Family wedding

One of my cousin brother’s getting married in a few days. He is gay, closeted. The fact that he is closeted is a big open secret in the inner and extended family. You know, one of those secrets which nobody talks about except in nods and knowing smiles while bitching on family stuff. Hardly needs to mentioned the marriage is “arranged” by concerned parents whose concerns include, among other things, and I’m being very politically incorrect here, curing the dick craving of the “borderline above marriage-able age” son by bringing in a young pussy.

I feel sorry for my cousin. He doesn’t have the courage an everyday homosexual needs to come out in the Indian society. I feel sorry for the girl he’s getting married to for all the usual reasons. Talk about a lifeless life and a marriage of convenience.

Oh well, another wedding, much anticipated for my cousin is as my mother puts it, “last of his generation” in the family.

I really don’t want to go but what the heck. The wedding’s at the bride’s place, at a white collar patch in a famously blue collar locality on the river’s east bank in far northern exurbs of the city. Communication routes are terrible. The trains are unboardable for casual passengers even in lean hours. The commuting crowd sucks and is infamous for being hostile to anyone not a known face (and all these comes from someone who has seen it all so to speak for 14 years when it comes to crowded trains, commuting and grouchy commuters). Most importantly, it’s not like I’m sitting ducks after the exams.

The things I do for the sake of family bonding. Geez.

4 basic rules of debating…

…for a vigorous, enlightening and healthy argument session (and competitive debating in general):

1. Do NOT to vilify each other or make fun/demonize each others intellects. This is strictly off limits.

2. Do not appear as if you’re debating/trying to “win”. Talk, don’t debate.

3. A little sense of humor goes a long way.  Sarcasm, self reflexive irony are most potent weapons.

4. Be calm. Never EVER raise your voice unless necessary. Screaming, yelling will never work to win over your rival.

My father is a university debating champion. So is my mother. She’s a living legend for leading her institution and students to win countless debating titles in her 27 year teaching career in that city.

It’s a shame they’re still to learn the basic rules of healthy, fruitful debates.

Redux

Apparently, I didn’t make myself quite clear. This will abate for now. But a dialogue would have to initiated come June 4th. And of course, the tongues will wag.

Misunderstandings. I hate it when these things happen.

Snappy happy

date		Sun, May 25, 2008 at 9:13 AM
subject		mailing
mailed-by		gmail.com

“Ei kakimoni, (wife of my father’s youngest niceguy brother who’s in pataliputra)
please don’t send me those bloody forwarded mails. It’s not cool. They are very annoying and I fail to see the humor in them. I delete junk mails without even thinking of reading as soon as they invade my inbox. As far as I can deduce most people don’t have much affinity for them. I greatly appreciate personal mails and I myself send personal mails quite often.
Translation: a personal mail, even a single liner, will be greatly appreciated.”

date		Mon, May 26, 2008 at 10:37 AM
subject		Re: mailing
mailed-by		gmail.com

“Dear S……,

The mail that I had sent you was of good quotations and not any mere rubbish joke. Please use proper words rather language – and never use words like ‘bloody‘ and all. I do not appreciate such languages. Have some respect for your elders. I will not send you anything which is absurd or indecent. I don’t like sharing anything indecent with people younger to me.
What I feel is some times you should be lighthearted to appreciate these forwarded mails – specially good ones. Life will become a hell if you always try to remain serious unnecessarily. It is unlike your age.

Kakimoni.”

date		Mon, May 26, 2008 at 11:45 AM
subject		Re: mailing
mailed-by		gmail.com

“Kakimoni,

you misunderstand me.

My inbox gets filled with spam and dozens of mindless forwarded mails every few days. I have ran out of patience trying to deal with junk mails. That’s why I asked not to send forwarded e-mails.

The word bloody, if you read it carefully you’ll see t’was directed to junk forwarded mails, NOT to YOU. Those mails deserve such language and worse. I generally don’t read those mails and I give a pig’s wing whether such mails have virus/indecent content (as they have most of times) or good quotations from Deepak Chopra/Winston Churchill.

Perhaps you overlooked the last few lines of my last mail. So I reiterate, I adore personal mails directed to me. I take the pains to send a lot of those myself at regular intervals.

Please, tell me if you will, where is the warmth, care and most importantly sincerity in forwarded mails one’s sending to dozens of family, friends and strangers alike?

Is sending Mother Teresa Or Bhagavad Gita quotes to 50 people in the mailing list without a single personal word from the sender be a sincere or thoughtful way of showing the sender cares about the recipients? Whatever it is, it’s not funny or “lighthearted“. Yes I know. My sense of humor is not very refined.

And I am serious when I say I feel disturbed by the fact that someone I admire lumps me with rank strangers whenever she thinks of sending a mail which she didn’t even spend a few minutes to write. If that kind of seriousness makes my life hellish then so be it.

And for the record, I DID see your forwarded mail. It’s nice but it’s still forwarded mail. Ergo, it’s junk.

I apologize if I hurt your feelings. They were intended to hurt the feelings of forwarded junk mails, not of yours.
– S.”

People can be such snappers over virtual com.

I think I was wee li’l harsh on her replying.

On second thought, I think I made myself pretty clear.